It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
