Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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