There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
When did angry sex become our thing?
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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