Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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