...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
