I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Randomize