I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
