I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
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