i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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