Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
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