all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
