I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize