I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
