Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Randomize
