The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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