No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
the room spins SO much faster in panama
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
