we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
