Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Randomize
