i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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