maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Randomize
