I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
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so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
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I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"