We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
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Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
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I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.