i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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