We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
