your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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