yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
