He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
