I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
