You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
