I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
