You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
