escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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