We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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