those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
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