Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
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