If that was your dad, he is hot
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
