Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
