Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
