Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Randomize
