She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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