wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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