Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Randomize
