no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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