omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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