I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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