I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
