You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Can I color on your dick again?
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
