Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
