We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
My ass is underappreciated
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
