I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Randomize
