This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
