It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
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Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
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OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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