Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
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