Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
