My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Randomize
