Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
