I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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