Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
