i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Randomize
