Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
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