She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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